The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
