I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
