i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
