Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
