Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
