Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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