my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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