If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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