...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
