Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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