...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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