I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
