Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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