My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
