I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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