Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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