using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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