Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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