My first STD was from a foam party
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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