yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
