my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
