You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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