its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
