After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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