Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
