Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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