hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
