she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
