i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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