I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
