and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
