Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
