wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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