it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
