Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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