Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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