i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
