Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
