did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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