So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
sarcasm needs its own font
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
