all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
