I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
