Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
