"it" just moved
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize