I met the friendliest cop last night
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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