then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
