haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
