just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You have to summon your inner elephant
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
