i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My vagina is officially offended.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
