Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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