ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
