and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
