I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize