he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
