Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
