So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My bed smells like the plague
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
