Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
