You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
