If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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